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Sonia Rumzi

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Should I change who I am for Him?

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_MG_4296.jpgAs a young woman first married I was so in love with my husband. There was nothing he would ask that I would not do. I waited on him, loved him and made sure he was comfortable at all times.

In retrospect, I realize my hand in spoiling and making him into the unkind man he turned out to be. My need to be a “good wife” caused harm in my marriage. One of my friends came to visit me and when she got married, she specifically told me that she refused to do certain things for her husband fearing he would treat her like mine did. Sigh!

So what to do? Should I change who I am? Should I be someone else just to make sure the man I am with will not behave poorly?

Do I continue to protect him, shield him from the outside world so they would not find out who he really is?

Find out what I, Salma Keir do in Caring For Eleanor

Connect with me on Twitter: @SalmaKeir

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  • It would seem that being totally devoted to your spouse would be a good and healthy attitude, but if that devotion is expressed only by one, I can see where that would lead from selfless devotion to slavery.  Interesting premis for a book.  I will check it out.  Thanks!

    • Thanks Allan. I think your wife might enjoy it more though. Hmmm, but my husband did find it intriguing. Who knows?

    • Women began their search for equality over 160 years ago in the US at the Seneca Falls Convention – and today? Globally, 1 in 3 women are abused and it isn’t much better in the US at 1 in 4.

      Faith, Courage, Strength, one voice at a time. Thank you Sonia for the inspiring book, Caring For Eleanor.

  • Dear Sonia, it sounds like Caring for Eleanor would have a strong message for all young women in a love relationship. I very much plan to check it out. I’m constantly amazed at the fact that schools don’t have a mandatory class to teach young people how to be in a relationship. So many of us (yes me too) spent our most precious years figuring it out and by then we are left with permanent scars. My answer to the rhetorical questions you posted is simply: Nay. A healthy relationship brings out the best of both people without compromising their true self. Let’s see if I was right 🙂

    • Zee, I hope you enjoy the book. If you give me an address, I will be happy to send you a coupon to download it as a gift. Let me know.