10 Things to Practice to be an Effective Parent
Make sure your child responds when you call.
A child who ignores you, is a child heading for anarchy and rebellion. It is the least politeness to acknowledge someone, who address you. Make sure they respond, every time.
Teach your child self control.
When you tell your child that it is time to leave, it might be a fight to get them to go with you, immediately. Do not give ultimatums, do not give in to a few more minutes. You are bigger; pick them up and do what you want. If you cannot control your child at three, what will you do when they are 15?
Encourage social skills in your child.
Teach your child when they can interrupt, if it is an emergency. Teach them to control their anger when they do not get what they want. Teach them to interact with others. If not, they will remain, the Neanderthals clubbing others for attention.
Put your child in self discipline activities.
Unless your child is a passive, introvert, they will have aggressive behaviors, naturally. Place them in sports where they have to interact and be a “team player”. Enroll them in, a music class, with a marching band or orchestra in school. It helps them realize that they get a turn and they need to give others one.
Teach your child responsibility.
Make sure your child has chores to do at home. Yes, you are a wonderful provider and you can handle things yourself. But, that is not the point. You want them to carry responsibility and have it done in a timely fashion. If you wish to reward them, don’t. It is part of living in society, to give of yourself. Have some self control yourself.
Set Limitations and stick to it.
This is a very difficult one for parents, not children. You have to discipline yourself not to change your mind. Most people change their mind about limits because they are feeling good that day, don’t. Stick to the plan. They will be less confused by your rules.
Make sure you spend time with your child.
Children will learn what they see. If you have time to be with them, time to talk, time to play a game, that will build their self esteem and confidence. Children love to know that they are worth the time, that their parent is spending time with them because they love them. It does not have to be hours, just one but consistently and daily.
You are not a friend, they have friends, you are the parent.
If your child points out that you are doing something, when they are not allowed to do it; be reasonable. If it is something off the wall, like smoking, remind that child that you are an adult. There is not comparison between what an adult can do and what a child could do. It is not a debate.
Clean the slate.
Never ever bring up a past offense to your child. The slate must be clean for every offense as it stands alone. If you bring up a past offense then you are the one who did not get over it. It gives your child the idea that you hold grudges. Get over it; by making sure the punishment was appropriate, for the crime.
Last and most important: Consider their Character.
Whatever your children do, anytime, watch them, whoever, they interact with, watch, notice, record how, they do things. How they interact with others. How they share, or not, etc. Those are the things that matter in life. If they lie about small things now, they will lie about big things later. Watch for their character.
Children are not dolls. Children are not little mini-mes. Children will grow up and become the adults you made them to be. Give them real time. Make sure their character is honorable from the start.