Essential To Teach Children Manners

control-their-temper.jpgIt is not that Important until it is.

Teaching our children manners is an old fashioned idea that seems to have fallen by the wayside. Too harsh? Maybe that is a little coarse. So, let’s make it an easier pill to swallow. Our values have changed so much, that, what we discipline our children for and the manners we require of them, are less demanding than before.

Children will do whatever they please, that is normal. But, we do live in society, unless you do not. If you do, then you have to take steps to mould some of those wild instincts before they become destructive habits. [Read more...]

Gene Pool Clean Up!

Happy Birthday Charles Darwin

I love Darwin. But, my take on it is always regarding the Darwin Awards. Survival of the Fittest, meaning mentally in this case, takes on a whole different meaning, when you think of it in those terms.

There is nothing you can do, to stop some idiot, from killing themselves, by being stupid; thus removing them from the gene pool. Woo hoo! So much the better for us all. [Read more...]

Hand Gestures You Need to Know

Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day.

Yes, today is another strange day, so kindly, wave at your neighbor. Not that way, even if you are mad, just use all your fingers.

Hand gestures have been a form of communication since man was on this earth. Without speech, we used hand gestures. Even with speech we still use our hands. Here are some ways that are good and some not so good ways to use your hands, but not today. Keep it for another day. Behave!

  • Clenched fist: is used as a gesture of defiance or solidarity.
  • Benediction and blessing: The benediction gesture is a raised right hand with the ring and little finger fingers touching the palm, while the middle and index fingers remain raised.
  • Blah-blah: The fingers are kept straight and together, held horizontal, while the thumb points downwards. The fingers and thumb then snap together repeatedly to suggest a mouth talking.
  • Check, please: This gesture, used to mean that a diner wishes to pay the bill and depart, done by touching the index finger and thumb together and “writing”.
  • Crossed fingers: are used to superstitiously wish for good luck or to nullify a promise.
  • Cuckoo sign: touched or screw loose. In North America, making a circling motion of the index finger at the ear or side of the head signifies that the person “has a screw loose”.
  • Middle finger salute: The finger is an obscene hand gesture used in much of Western culture.
  • High five: slapping the palms together.
  • Fist bump: just what it says for brotherhood.
  • Hitchhiking: thumb out.
  • Money sign: with thumb and two first fingers rubbing together.
  • Patience: thumb and next two fingers together and the whole hand is raised up and down three times in a sign of wait, be patient.
  • Talk to the hand: extending the open palm away from you towards the other person.
  • V sign, peace: index and middle fingers lifted up in and open.
  • Thumbs up: assent and approval.
  • Thumb down: means hate it, don’t approve or kill the contestant in the arena.
  • Shaka: sign of Hawaii salute, three middle fingers down, thumb and pinky up and waggle the hand.

Peter Pan, my eye!

Dear Baba Rumcake,

I screwed up, growing up. I can’t handle the world

I’m having some Peter Pan problems. Can’t face it.

But my parents, are too old to move back in with, and they didn’t really prepare me.

They did what they could. This introversion crap, was ok, in highschool, college, ok, but I’m 40. It’s just not cutting it, anymore.

Bratty in Baldwin

Bratty, Dude,
It may be true, but you are way overdue! After college, which is already late, there are no excuses for blaming parents.

Get on the stick! Get off your duff, stop the blame, and get a move on. Find yourself a niche. Find a life and get on with it, you, slug, you blaming, irresponsible excuse of a man.

Stop grousing, accept your culpability, and do the right thing.

Suggesting that you “cannot face the world” amounts only to one thing, you are a derelict, who does not want responsibility. Being delinquent when you are young, is not acceptable; but as an adult, it is criminal.

Peter Pan, my eye! That is an old excuse that has been over used and chewed upon to death. At least be creative, finding a more decent excuse for using your parents.

Or, find yourself, a Sugar Mama and keep living like a ‘hang on’, a zit, on the face of humanity.

Grow up, quickly!

Blessings! Wishing you a swift kick in the ass,

Baba Rumcake

Silence in Harbin Hot Springs

I spent three days in silence at Harbin Hot Springs. Harbin was the easiest place to do that since it is a retreat where people go to meditate, think and soak in the hot springs of Middletown, CA.

It was not so much that I had a lot to say, no; it was the habit of commenting on everything. Finding out that most of what I say to my husband was unnecessary, was a real slap in the face. Being silent for three days gave me the opportunity to discover the absurdity of my conversations.

Finding out that I comment, non stop, on things around us, even people and nonsensical subjects, even. While silence made me realize that my observations were not necessary. The earth will still turn on its axis, without them. The sun, will still rise in the east, and set in the west, without, my expletives.

Silence brought on thoughtfulness and writing. Finding myself unable to communicate abruptly, everything was calculated. When I wrote my husband, it was to actually say something that needed to be said; like, let’s eat, not she looks like a frog.

It curbed my tongue, it curbed my thoughts. Ugly thoughts, were cut short, since there was no avenue for them. If my mind brought up vileness, it had to clear it up quickly, since it would have had to stay inside and fester. A true cleansing from the inside out.

I still practice silence. Every few weeks, I take a break, and shut up! I do not, have to be, at the Harbin quiet, to do it. No excuses, I just do it.

Silence is golden.

Here’s the link to check out the comfort of Harbin Hot Springs.

Disgruntled in Dallas

Dear Baba Rumcake,

I know a friend who is newly married and turning into a pretentious asshat who is losing contact with all his friends. I want to say that when stuff like this happens, the relationship is the one that will usually end–and likey badly. But for now he is I guess going strong with her–spending all his time with her or just home. I really cant believe the person he’s become.

what do you think?

Disgruntled in Dallas

Dear Disgruntled,

Isn’t this when you’re supposed to pull out the “bros before hoes” card? Not that I support the slandering of women and blah dee blah, but the phrase represents the common phenomenon that you are now experiencing with your friend. In the early stages of many relationships, the couple gets so wrapped up in each other that they forget that there are other people involved in their lives. Most couples with this problem get over it, but unfortunately, sometimes by that point their friends are no longer waiting for their return from heaven. This issue is one of the concerns you voiced.

If you are worried this much, it is probably time for you to give your friend an intervention. Sit him down and let him know how you feel. Tell him that if he doesn’t stop acting like an infatuated puppy, he will lose his friendship with you and others. Ask him if he is willing to risk all of his well-established friendships on this new girl of his. Is that really worth it to him? At that point, the decision is his. If he snaps out of his funk and gives a little TLC to your friendship, great. If not, maybe he isn’t worth your time after all.

Blessing and Best of Luck with that Intervention,

Baba Rumcake

15 Ways to be a Better Boss

15 Ways to be a Better Boss

People often wonder what it takes to be a better boss; here are 15 ways you can use to begin your journey managing others.

Listen openly to others.

It is hard to listen, to everyone, and what they have to say regarding a matter you already have decided on. Keep an open mind. Listen, and glean the important information. Use some of it, it will let everyone know that you were really listening and that they matter.

Offer constructive suggestions.

It is difficult to offer suggestions to angry people. Wait, choose the moment and then make your suggestions. They will be received better and will be taken into consideration more readily.

Give clear directions.

Do not be vague. Do not be wishy washy. People appreciate the direct approach. Make it simple and clear. Someone is bound to do it, if they understand what it is you want. Also, it gives the right impression; you are in charge and you know what you are talking about.

Set and meet deadlines.

When you tell your staff that you will do something, make sure that you come through. Never let a deadline go by. If you can do that, then everyone else can do it. Lead by example.

Give formal and informal presentations.

If you have to give presentations, mix it up a little. Take the staff out for a cup of coffee and talk there. Set it up, with slides, in the conference room. Take out for dinner nice in a while for the talk. They will come to these things with a more positive attitude.

Help members identify and solve problems.

When problems arise, turn the tables on your employees. Have them tell you what the problem is and have them decide what should be done about it. It helps them feel that they are controlling some part of their lives at work. It also brings them together to decide what to do about an issue.

Set an example to behavior you want cultivated.

Be a role model. If you want them to come in on time, be on time for meetings. If you do not want them eating at their desk, do not offer food at yours. Simple things will convey your messages. It is not ‘do as I say, not as I do’.

Show appreciation of others’ contributions.

Whether it is someone on your team, or outside the group, or even, outside the institution, make sure you praise and show your appreciation for a job well done. It will reenforce the idea, that you notice accomplishments.

Show understanding.

People will make mistakes. Really, they will. Be understanding, without, being a push over. Take into consideration their reactions, noting whether they are callous or sincere. All these are cues to a better understanding of your employees.

Encourage members to exchange ideas.

This is a tricky suggestion. There is not need to open the forum for every stupid idea that comes along. If the ideas are to progress the work, make it more efficient and flow better, give it credence. Otherwise, tell them to give it a rest.

Conflict handling.

No group is the same. No group has the same dynamics and no manager is capable of understanding every problem that occurs. It is a fine dance. If a conflict arises, allow the staff to handle it, for a limited period of time. If that does not work, make definitive decisions, suggesting that the someone can get another job. It will end the conflict, quickly. Being undecided will cause harm to the group.

Delegate responsibilities.

It is easy to give the job to the busiest person there, since they will get it done. But, you should delegate to others also. It will make them feel like part of the whole, while taking the burden off the key person in your group.

Do not gossip.

No matter how tempted you are, do not gossip. Everyone knows that if you gossip with one person, you probably do it with everyone else. Don’t do it, it is that simple.

Do not lie.

If you get caught lying, nothing, will induce the staff, to trust you, again. Always be truthful or just say nothing. It is not productive to lie about numbers, or work flow or anything for that matter.

Get a backbone.

Nothing is more annoying, and discouraging, than someone in a leadership position, who has no inner clout. When you are weak, tenuous, implausible and unconvincing, the staff will have no respect for you and your ability to make decisions. Ge on the stick! Get stronger and more decisive.

Dejected in Durham

Dear Baba Rumcake,

Ugh, i had that moment tonight
Hanging out with my “baby” when I realized he’s so big and not a baby at all anymore. It made me super sad!!
He’s almost 14 months old.
Does everyone have that moment? How old is the child when it happens?

Dejected in Durham

Dear Dejected,

Ummmm…yeah, they do grow up. You need to do some growing up, also. No, most people do not feel sad, that their children are growing up. You seem to be dependent on that child for some self fulfillment.

Find something else to do or else you will keep that kid from growing up to be, independent of you. That feeling should be quick and transient. Move on.

Dwelling on it, hoping that there are other people out there with the same ‘syndrome’ is not healthy. You will suffer empty nest too, in the future, because honey, they do leave, when they get older. Enjoy the time with your child. Don’t worry about wanting to hold on and not let go.

Get on with it. You both will be fine.

Blessings on that child and you. Let me know how you do.

Baba Rumcake

Dubious in Denver

Dear Baba Rumcake,

Is this weird? A man and wife marry and agree that the wife will be a SAHM( Stay at Home Mom )
Before this, she was a working professional.
They have kids. And are still paying off her student loans.
In essence, he is paying for her education. Is that odd?
Dubious in Denver

Dear Dubious,
What in the world is so ODD about that agreement? She is having your kids, I assume. So, she still has a job; the most important JOB a parent can have. The days of men thinking that women are not working because they are home, are long gone.

Where have you been? Under a rock, because you’re still living in the Stone Age! No, it is not odd at all. You would be paying daycare anyway, same price, VASTLY different results! She will probably save you a bundle if you were not so petty and parochial.

Grow up! Stop complaining about your wife and buck up. Your note states that this is a mutual agreement. Therefore your question is narrow minded and treacherous, at best. I also hope she does not read your simple minded postings, ever.

Blessings on your day. Let me know how it works out.

Baba Rumcake