Archives for March 2012

Stoopidil-tayk-anyfing
– if you have asthma and cannot go out to follow the bee;
– if you have acne and hate the pock marks on your forehead;
– if you have depression and it weighs you down watching you;
– if you have scabby ugly psoriasis…….

Photo: Matt Browne, Flikr, Creative Commons

– Will open your clogged air vents;
– Dry up the acne afflicting your face;
– And lift you up from depression pits if you have no suicidal thoughts;
– Clear your psoriasis for a week, inside of a week.

Simple Side effects: nausea, drowsiness, and dizziness. Fast heart rate, suicidal thoughts and hallucinations.

Other Side effects may also include: Back pain; headache; mild pain, redness, or swelling at the injection site; mild stomach pain; nausea; runny or stuff nose.

Medium allergic reactions:
(Rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue; unusual hoarseness); black, tarry, or bloody stools; blood in the urine; burning, numbness, or tingling; butterfly-shaped rash on the nose and cheeks; change in the appearance of a mole; chest pain; confusion; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; mental or mood changes; muscle pain or weakness; new or worsening joint pain; open sore that does not heal; persistent pain, swelling, or redness at the injection site; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; severe or persistent headache or dizziness; severe or persistent stomach pain; shortness of breath; signs of infection (eg, fever, chills, or persistent sore throat; persistent cough; flu-like symptoms; warm, red, or painful skin; increased or painful urination); swelling of the ankles, hands, or feet; tremor; unexplained weight loss or weight gain; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual lumps; unusual skin growth or other skin changes; unusual tiredness or weakness; unusually pale skin; vision changes; vomit that looks like coffee grounds.

Slightly than medium reactions: Anxiety; constipation; decreased sexual desire or ability; diarrhea; dizziness; drowsiness; dry mouth; increased sweating; loss of appetite; nausea; nervousness; stomach upset; tiredness; trouble sleeping; vomiting; weight loss.

Severe side effects:
Severe allergic reactions (rash; hives; itching; difficulty breathing; tightness in the chest; swelling of the mouth, face, lips, or tongue); bizarre behavior; black or bloody stools; chest pain; confusion; decreased bladder control; decreased concentration; decreased coordination; exaggerated reflexes; fainting; fast or irregular heartbeat; fever; hallucinations; memory loss; new or worsening agitation, panic attacks, aggressiveness, impulsiveness, irritability, hostility, exaggerated feeling of well-being, restlessness, or inability to sit still; persistent or severe ringing in the ears; persistent, painful erection; red, swollen, blistered, or peeling skin; seizures; severe or persistent anxiety or trouble sleeping; severe or persistent headache; stomach pain; suicidal thoughts or attempts; tremor; unusual bruising or bleeding; unusual or severe mental or mood changes; unusual weakness; vision changes; worsening of depression.

Severe severe side effects:
– Nasal and ear hair growth (Werewolfism).
– Long toothism and canine fang growth (Vampirism).

If you still decide to take our drug, whatever happens serves you right!

A Farce!