Dear Baba Rumcake,
Not sure if you have lived on your own for awhile? No roommates, no bf/gfs. just on your own. Did you enjoy it? Were you happier when you found someone to move in with you? Did you get lonely often?
Lonesome in Lancaster
Dear LiL,
These questions are all very relative. The answers depend a great deal on the individual. If you are a social animal, as many of us are, living alone can feel like a prison sentence. However, there are also many people out there who embrace the peace and quiet of solitary living.
Being a particularly social person does not necessarily correspond to being a good candidate for living with other people either. The more particular you are about your habits and routines (Are you OCD?), the more difficult it may be for you to adapt and compromise to the tendencies of someone else sharing your living space.
People are odd, nasty, and selfish. Granted, you may luck out and be odd, nasty, and selfish in complementary ways. The chances of that lovely coincidence occurring for you, in truth, are dismal. That is why tolerance is arguably the most crucial aspect of your shared-living capacity.
If you are an extremely tolerant person who is immune to the vexations that accompany any other person you will try to live with, than you will have a much better chance at success. Keep in mind, every one of your senses is vulnerable to abrasion. Stinky people with ugly secrets, uncomfortable conditions, and loud habits leave a bad taste in your mouth.
The things that make people unbearable to live with are usually the things that you don’t realize until you are living with them. You may think living with your best friend or lover would be like a honeymoon in paradise. I hate to break it to you, but even they get stinky, ugly, abrasive, and noisy just as much as the nastiest most obnoxious people you could imagine.
Best friend in the whole wide world of yesterday becomes roommate today and becomes worst enemy tomorrow. Dearest beloved of yesterday moves in today and becomes your most woeful and regretted mistake tomorrow.
Nothing is set in stone, though, not even my weekday afternoon pessimism. You could have great experiences living with other people. If you are feeling lonely and yearn for the company of a friend or significant other, try it out. You may find that it is the missing link to your long-desired happiness.
The one bit of advice that I would beg of you to consider is DO NOT lose someone close to you because you are incompatible living together. Be very careful who you decide to conduct this experiment with.
I wish you all the company you can happily handle!
Blessings on your sharing venture. Let me know how it works out.
Baba Rumcake