“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”
— Elbert Hubbard
Every one of us tries to keep a measure of their real self private. Honesty is the best policy and all. Yet, is it possible to be so candid about yourself that you keep nothing back? Maybe, but not likely.
Experience has shown me that opening up, creates a serious mistrust. As a teenager, I was painfully open about myself and my wayward ways. In response I got shunned and banned from many activities with friends. They would not dream of behaving the same way. “Friends” passed judgment, and quickly.
It created a level of mistrust, causing hurdles, I could not overcome. If I was so free with damaging information about myself, then probably, would not be able to keep a secret, about them. Thus, in being so open, caused the opposite effect, creating skepticism and distancing from the very person, I cared for.
A story was retold in prayer group, where they, “prayed for my soul” in sordid details. Appalling as it may seem, in the end, I learned, that if I did not want something broadcast, then keep it to myself.
No need to hold other people to a standard, that I did not hold for myself. If it was that shocking, then keep it to myself. Spreading rumors, even if true is an evil pastime, often done with no malice.
But, then it happens, that one person will be there for you, all the time, no matter what they’ve seen you do. They are with you when you mess up badly and are in need of someone before you fall; and they are the pillar that does, hold you up. You have a friend.
When it happens, that we meet that one person, who never shirks us, never closes the door on us when they find out who we truly are, it is a miracle. Most of the time it is the partner we live with, since they know us best.
We can be many things for a while, but ourselves all the time, long term. It is impossible to act all through a lifetime relationship, like marriage, when the chips are down, and the masquerade of attraction is over.
And when that person who knows you that well, knows all your faults and your ickiness, still looks at you with love, you know that you have reached that wonderful state, we call friendship.