Queen of Returns

Dear Baba Rumcake,

Why do so many people feel guilty & ashamed for returning things back to the stores? Or is it fear of intimidation by the bitchy sales people?

I’m the queen of returns. Anything wrong with that?
Queen of Returns from Quebec

Dear QoR,

Now, if you legitimately need to return things that are the wrong size, or the wrong color or whatever, then that would be fine. Returns, are sanctioned, when you need to exchange things you do not like, you did not buy or do not fit.

But, I have a feeling, this is not the case here, with you. I imagine, that you return things just because you are bored, or want to, for the fun of shopping without spending the money. The way you asked that question and even your name, suggests, that, this is a hobby.

Unfortunately, it is people like you who spoil it for the rest of us. When you return something, it is a loss to the store. They have to return it, also. When that happens the result is that the prices are increased to cover those losses.

Now, that may seem like nothing to you, since, you enjoy what you do, but the truth is, it makes it hard on everyone else. You seem to find some sort of perverse satisfaction in returning things. I am not sure what the reason is, but you get some obtuse feel, doing it.

Most people are ashamed or guilty returning things, making them feel creepy and weird. Most people buy things to keep them. They truly intended to have them, keep them and use them.

So, do you actually return a bath rug, that you have used, then decided, you do not want anymore? Do you return candle holders, with wax all over it, that other people gave you, that you did not appreciate? Do you return a dress, that you used for a party, then returned the next day?

I imagine that you do. That makes you, unscrupulous, dishonorable and dishonest. But, you get by, and do your thing, not worrying about the “bitchy sales people”.

Blessings on your return escapades.

Baba Rumcake

Discouraged in Peoria

Dear Baba Rumcake,

I wish people didn’t give me presents for my birthday instead of surprising me. I mean, I never get anything that I will use so it just adds to junk I have around the house or have to give away. I was just given a snowman mug, a weird scarf, a cheap wallet, and hooker red lip gloss. None of it will ever be used. I’d really rather have nothing than have a gift. I know I sound ungrateful.

Discouraged in Peoria

Dear Discouraged,

You might be ungrateful but I like you already. I happen to agree with you.  I hate it when people give me stuff that I do not need. Crap that sits around useless. It makes them feel better, but is useless to you, completely.  I get it. You are right.


The solution is to tell them. Tell your friends that you appreciate the thought. Tell them that you realize that they love you and do this just for you. Then tell them, gently, tactfully, that they should stop buying you things. Knowing that they probably are on a budget, be sensitive and tell them that their company is more than enough. You do not need the gift.


This might alleviate the pressure of spending the money for them and spare you the pressure of getting rid of what you never wanted in the first place. Tell them the truth, kindly.

God bless you on knowing yourself. Let me know how you do.

Baba Rumcake