Consequences May Be Worth The Risk

“Are you telling me to leave Mikel?” asked Salma, grasping at straws.
“I would never presume to tell anyone what to do. I would expect you to decide for yourself without fear of repercussions. There are consequences to leaving but you can handle it. You’re a strong woman.”
“Me? Strong?”
“Yes, strong and capable!”
“What will Mikel do?” asked the foolish woman.
“Do? Mikel will do what he needs to do. Deal with it like all the other husbands who are left behind do.”
“No what will Mikel do without me?”

Conversation in Caring for Eleanor

It Could Happen Again

It Could Happen Again (short story) by Sonia RumziIt Could Happen Again (March 2011)

* Fiction > Women’s Fiction > Friendship
* Fiction > Women’s Fiction > Domestic Life

Description

The struggle of a mother to free herself from the tyranny of a man she once loved, but now threatened her peace of mind, her life and the life of her children.










“This book, says it all with just the right balance. The challenges faced by the woman desperate to leave, the torn agony by the friends who watch and the complacency of the society that tangles itself with “doing the right thing.”

-Pandora Poikilos, author of Excuse Me, My Brains Have Stepped Out

Buy it on Amazon, Kindle, Barnes & Noble, Nook, iBooks, Sony, Diesel, Kobo, Smashwords

CHF vs a Great Diuretic Salad

chopping_parsley.jpg

It was suggested to me because of the heat to drink a spoonful of Baking Soda mixed in an eight ounce glass of water. I was told that it would help alleviate the heat waves that accost me in the afternoons and early evenings.

I tried and folks let me tell you, at this age you should not drink a spoonful of Sodium Bicarbonate. Yep, it is Salt! Needless to say, I felt nauseated at first but later in the day I felt lethargic.

When I went out for my evening walk with my husband, I felt my chest tight and my lungs not expanding. Again, at my age, I am 55, all this salt could result in CHF or Congestive Heart Failure.

I needed diuretics. Here is what I did to solve the problem of retention and it turned out amazing!

1/2 Vidalia onion sliced
8 garlic cloves slices
1/2 bunch parsley chopped
1 large tomato chopped
2 Tbsp ground Cumin
1/4 cup lemon juice

1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 head Romaine lettuce chopped
1/2 tsp black pepper

The last three ingredients are for taste and substance. All the rest are diuretics. Go figure. A delicious healthy solution without a hospital trip. Whew!

Mix well. Eat. You can thank me later. It is delicious!

An amazing salad made with love and health.

Enjoy!

OCD or Organized, Not So Sure Anymore

0128_shelf02.jpgHow Do You Arrange Your Books

My husband calls me anal retentive. I might be, I am not sure. Then my daughter called me OCD. So, I had to stop and find out what the hell they were talking about.

Apparently it is in the way I arrange my DVDs. I throw away the case and place them in packs with zippers. That in itself is not so much anal but I like to group them in genre and make sure that the disc is upright and not askew. Head up so to speak. My music cds are the same.

I noted to them that there are people out there much more anal retentive than I am. Like whom they asked. Like the people who love to organize their books in colors. Their library is in color of the spine. Yellows, reds, greens and so on. I don’t do that.

But what do I do? I organize my books by what I have already read. Several bookcases hold what I have read then I sort all by author. Not alphabetical though. See, I am not so OCD.

Yet, if given the chance I would alphabetize the cans in the kitchen cabinets. I would put the tallest bottle to the side and then in a row the shorter ones. I put the large spoons facing one side then the tea spoons opposite then, same with the forks.

OCD or organized? Not so sure anymore.

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Publisher Rejections Never Cease To Amaze

FAMOUS SELF-PUBLISHED BOOKS

  • Remembrance of things Past, by Marcel Proust
  • Ulysses, by James Joyce
  • The Adventures of Peter Rabbit, by Beatrix Potter
  • A Time to Kill, by John Grisham
  • The Wealthy Barber, by David Chilton
  • The Bridges of Madison County
  • What Color is Your Parachute
  • In Search of Excellence by Tom Peters
  • The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield
  • The Elements of Style by William Strunk, Jr. (and his student E. B. White)
  • The Joy of Cooking
  • When I Am an Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple
  • Life’s Little Instruction Book
  • Robert’s Rules of Order

OTHER FAMOUS AUTHORS WHO SELF-PUBLISHED

  • Deepak Chopra
  • Gertrude Stein
  • Zane Grey
  • Upton Sinclair
  • Carl Sandburg
  • Ezra Pound
  • Mark Twain
  • Edgar Rice Burroughs
  • Stephen Crane
  • Bernard Shaw
  • Anais Nin
  • Thomas Paine
  • Virginia Wolff
  • e.e. Cummings
  • Edgar Allen Poe
  • Rudyard Kipling
  • Henry David Thoreau
  • Benjamin Franklin
  • Walt Whitman
  • Alexandre Dumas
  • William E.B. DuBois
  • Beatrix Potter

REJECTED BY PUBLISHERS

  • Pearl S. Buck – The Good Earth – 14 times
  • Norman Mailer – The Naked and the Dead – 12 times
  • Patrick Dennis- Auntie Mame – 15 times
  • George Orwell – Animal Farm
  • Richard Bach – Jonathan Livingston Seagull – 20 times
  • Joseph Heller – Catch-22 – 22 times (!)
  • Mary Higgins Clark – first short story – 40 times
  • Alex Haley – before Roots – 200 rejections
  • Robert Persig – Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance – 121 times
  • John Grisham – A Time to Kill – 15 publishers and 30 agents (he ended up publishing it himself)
  • Chicken Soup for the Soul – 33 times
  • Dr. Seuss – 24 times
  • Louis L’Amour – 200 rejections
  • Jack London – 600 before his first story
  • John Creasy – 774 rejections before selling his first story. He went on to write 564 books, using fourteen names.
  • Jerzy Kosinski – 13 agents and 14 publishers rejected his best-selling novel when he submitted it under a different name, including Random House, which had originally published it.
  • Diary of Anne Frank
  • During his entire lifetime, Herman Melville’s timeless classic, Moby Dick, sold only 3,715 copies.

Attribution to: Dan Poynter

‘nough said!

A Personal Trainer to Watch Over Me

Treadmill.jpgFor the privilege of watching some, fat ass, using the elliptical, the Personal Trainer, get paid oodles of money. Well deserved, I might add.

It must be boring as hell being there, watching some heifer, on the treadmill, sweating away. Just standing, there! Making sure, they are doing it. That, is the job of a personal trainer.

The person, who will make sure that we, the adults will do what we want to do, in the first place. Instead of just, we on our own, deciding as grown ups and committed, will actually do, what we set out to accomplish.

Astounding, that we need someone to push us, cajole us, entice us to perform. We, decide to do these exercises, but we need a Motivator. We need a Drill Instructor. We need a Pusher, to do it.

I can understand a Personal Trainer, for more involved practices, like weight lifting or Yoga. We do not want injuries, really. But, for running and cycling? What is that about?

We pay someone to watch us, struggle, huffing and puffing! Mazel Tov!

Learning A Lesson the Hard Way

_MG_4136.jpgSeveral emotions have gone through me in the last week and I would like to share:

Hurt: I offered to help someone with editing their book. When I received the copy, I realized that I was re-writing not editing. I wrote a list of things to help them in their future writings, things like stop using adverbs, do not start your sentence with There was and so on. I also edited, re-wrote and sent the Preface and the first chapter, done, to them.

In the end, when I gave up on it, here is what they said: “I guess you get what you pay for (I did not charge them). Is this how you get your ideas for books? You bait new writers and take their ideas and then do not keep your promises?”

Needless to say I was hurt. I got over it but it took me a day of self reflection and agonizing over my decision to abandon the project.

Agonized: When you promise to do something for someone, should you complete the project under any circumstances? If you embarked on helping, should you do it no matter how daunting the process?

My husband and daughter found it aggravating that I even pondered such thoughts. I bit more than I could chew or wanted to chew. It is alright to pull out after helping a little if something is too overwhelming.

Failure: Yes, I felt like a failure for not helping, for not completing what I promised. I did finish editing three chapters but could not figure out where some sentences started and where conversations ended. No punctuation made it impossible.

I failed someone I indeed wished to help. Finding it deplorable in my heart, it ate at me and my sense of worth failed me.

Grateful: I was grateful for my family who helped me assess the situation in a more rational way. They found the accusations hilarious and rude. And even when the person sent me a note apologizing as they realized their mistake, my family stood by me supportive as ever even asking me not to respond.

I am grateful for my loving family who would not allow me to wallow in self pity. They laughed if off and got stern when I insisted on arguing for the person.

Reflective: I found myself once again looking into the mirror of my soul to keep a balance to my insides. I found myself looking up to God so my reflections would not end up selfish and self-centered.

Never one to compare myself to others, I find myself looking for my higher example in the Lord. It is important to find that symmetry.

Forgiving: I found myself forgiving for the accusations. Our stories are like our children. We are caring and loving of them. Even if someone means well when they criticize, we are protective of our creations. Their reaction to my withdrawal was normal and I could see that it was hurtful. A promise broken. The accusations unfounded should never have been written.

Resolved: In the end, resolved in my mind to be more realistic, I would offer help after reading the material or at least a sample of it. It is unkind to offer help and withdraw it. In the future, I will be more cautious with my promises.

How to Leave a Bad Relationship

_MG_4538.jpgHow to leave a bad marriage/relationship according to Salma Keir:

  • Get a lawyer.
  • Get an apartment.
  • Get a job around the children’s needs to succeed.
  • Never allow him/her to scream at you on the phone. You are not together anymore. He/she should not have been doing it in the first place.
  • Insult you. See above!
  • Intimidate you. See above!
  • Do not care what he/she thinks of you. Damaging!
  • When he/she sends you to alcohol and drug testing, never bad mouth them. Talk about yourself.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Never be bitter about what happened. Move forward!
  • If you leave allow the person left some anger but not towards you.
  • Be fair.
  • Be kind when possible.
  • Be firm without being cruel.
  • You have a right once in a while to lose your temper too.
  • Become independent of that partner emotionally and financially.
  • Start over. Clean the slate.
  • Leave it behind. You could not convince them for years, why start now.
  • Unroll that burden off your shoulders and leave it where it can be lost.
  • Make sure there is a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in the house all the time.
  • Take care of your children’s needs yourself without bowing down to anyone else who thinks otherwise.
  • Make a new life for your daughters.
  • Make sure they are safe and know that you loves them.
  • Never speak ill of your estranged partner for the children’s sake not your partner’s.
  • Teach them integrity and self-reliance.
  • Treat them fairly and firmly with love.

Salma Keir in Caring For Eleanor