Dear Rumcake,
Sameness is my comfort zone and dare I not step out of my shell. God forbid if I explore new things.
I stress when driving and get lost. I hate going to new and unfamiliar places trying to find my way looking or coming across as klutzy or dumb so I won’t take chances.
Do you feel awkward in new place trying to get your bearings, fearing that losers are judging you?
Seeking Solace in Saratoga
Dear Seeking Solace,
On the face of it you seem like a genuinely confused and sweet person. Then, I got to the end of your note and realized that you are just creepy.
Please let me explain.
You are the one who is, and I quote, “klutzy or dumb”, yet you feel that there are “losers” out there judging you. Amazing! You seem self effacing on the surface, then you come up with your own judgment about people who are merely looking at you. maybe they intended to help.
Sameness is not a crime and neither should it be boring. Sameness of surroundings could be a comfort, but you have turned it into a diatribe of whining.
The problem is not, the outside, the problem is, the inside; of you. You seem hard and unbending, with definitive ideas and dogmas, about life and people, making it even harder on yourself.
A nice person, you are not. So, you worry about what other people think, since you know how you are. Sad really. Trying to find yourself in a new place and space is normal, but you have turned it into a self deprecating exercise in humiliation. Grow up!
Blessings on loosening up a little,
Baba Rumcake