Dear Baba Rumcake,
I’m in my first year at Seattle University. I’ve made a great group of friends with the people in my dorm and me and this one guy have been hooking up for a while now. I think I want us to be more than just friends with benefits, but I think we’re both hesitant about what may happen if things go sour, living in the same building and all. All of our friends know we’ve been hooking up and they all think we should be together, but neither of us have the balls to bring up the conversation. I just want to know that he feels the same way I do, but I don’t know how to bring it up without it being awkward. What should I do??
SultryinSeattl
Dear SultryinSeattl
Since you are in college, I will assume, that, you have a measure of intelligence. You are correct in thinking that things would be awkward, if, you have problems, with this guy, especially, since you live in the same building.
Before I suggest what you should do, let me ask why you want to take this to the next level? Why in the world do you want a permanent, or “more” as you called it? You are having fun in Seattle, I am sure. College is a new experience. Your life is fun, sounds like. Why screw it up?! You have a good thing. A good friend and lover and you get along.
One of the worst things women do, is always quantify and qualify relationships. You want to put him in a corner and make him tell you that this is it, you are the love of his life. Women do this to their detriment.
Are you really ready for a commitment of that magnitude? I am sure the answer is no. So, why ask him to make it. If your relationship is going to work out, it will work out without analysis or pushing from you.
Have fun and keep this guy around for as long as it will last. You sound smart and reasonable.
Now, if you do not want to listen to any of the above, here is the other thing you can do; ask him. Come outright and ask the poor schlep, and see if he does not run into the hills screaming. Most men cannot handle this type of question. He would not be bad or mean, he is just a man.
Blessings this day, on your Sultriness. Let me know how it works out.
Baba Rumcake