Tantrika in Texas Sunshine

Dear Baba Rumcake,

A friend was blabbering on how boring “Tantric Sex” is. Not seeming overly sincere, I asked how he got his in-depth knowledge. He said his understanding comes from experts, in men’s magazines. Not an ounce, of personal experience. Sheesh.

Recently, the Internet has been flooded with articles (photos too) on Sting & Trudie Styler and their THIRTY year relationship (including 6 kids) of, sizzling, sex life. I know what tawdry is, but tantra? If Tantra, does that for them, then, I’m:

Tantrika (wanna be) in Texas Sunshine

Dear T. I. T. S.,

Wow,

Your friend is a moron. He is a simpleton who does not want or need to take the time to learn.

What you ask, is very real and widely practiced in the Yoga community. Here are some possbilities and then a real answer.

First, go to your nearest large consumer bookstore ( or search on-line ). Find, all the books, with writhing naked couples, associated with the word “Tantra” or “Tantric Sex”, on the front. Study the back covers of each one, for a minute or so. The juiciest ones have stuff like; “simple, yet powerful exercises”, “a few minutes a day”, “best and hottest techniques”… buy any two of these and glance through the pages of each. Congratulations, you are now a (cough) Western expert in Tantric Sex.

OR do the following in order:

1. Take a 60 minute Yoga and Pranayama, breathing techniques class, every, single, day, for two years.
2. For the next two years, 2 hours of daily Yoga & Pranayama practice, and;
3. Start studying the hundreds of Sutras; Diamond Sutra, Heart Sutra, Yoga Sutra, etc.
4. OK, now the Kama Sutra, actually READ the text, not just look at the added pictures.

Great, with your Bachelor’s Degree equivalent, you *start* to have the body & mind for the Tantric Texts… Oh, you thought, this was going to be, easy? You thought, there was, a magic pill? Sting, has been practicing for over 20 years, and he, was in great shape (or so he thought) before he and his wife, stepped on the Yogic path.

Oh, and as for that, know it all, friend, does he, pass out, after 15 minutes of sex? Of course he does. Can he have multiple orgasms without ejaculating? Not a chance.

Thankfully, biology takes good care of us. If cavemen did not fall asleep when they spilt their seed, they would have beaten us to death, wanting more. Resulting in killing off, their latest progeny, before, they pop open, their next beer; you know what I mean.

Blessing on your new studies, and do let me know of your progress.
Baba Rumcake