Christmas in Hawaii

Breaching whales, shorts, short sleeved shirt, sandals and fresh pineapple on the beach. What more can one ask for?

Loving the warm, overcast day we are having. Surfers with bikinis, warm sand, big waves, the North Shore of Oahu offers all of it on a wonderful car ride.

We stopped at a fruit stand, by the side of the road. Cut up fresh orange papaya, coconut juice and coconut pieces.

By the way, it is Christmas Day!

Children Say Sorry, How About You?

One of the hardest things we do in our life is say that we are sorry. Saying sorry is an admission of guilt and an opportunity for reconciliation.

The fact that guilt is something people do not accept as part of our life is what keeps most from going through the cleansing process of an apology.

An apology opens a conversation for give and take. An apology makes the person receiving it stop to take in the knowledge that they were vindicated. This process itself is healing for the person receiving the apology.

What it does for the person saying, “I am sorry”, is a cleansing that only comes with acknowledging a hurt inflicted whether with or without intention.

If we go through life hurting others without remorse or apology, it creates a hardness in the spirit and a growing of hatred for our fellow humans. We become sociopaths, critical of everyone, never realizing our part in the drama surrounding us.

As children we were taught to say sorry for pushing a friend, or taking away a toy when it was not our turn, or kicking someone on the playground. As children we knew that there were consequences to our behavior and if you were “not nice” to your friends, they will eventually stop playing with you.

It is the same concept with adults, if you do not play nice with your fellow adult, they will not play at all with you.

An apology cools the hottest anger and soothes the most irritated soul. An apology will bring things into perspective. An apology is a way to temper the ego and keep it from imploding.

There are consequences associated with an apology. On the one hand you may receive a warm reception and a kind response. That of course is the ideal response and the one we all hope for.

On the other hand, you may be rebuffed and rejected with a harsh word or two. In that case, you have done what clears your mind and ease your spirit. The rest is left to Karma to take care of and allow life to teach that person when they are in the same position sometime in their life.

Christmas Eve 2010

Christmas Eve is here. Steve and I are in Hawaii. My husband has wished for a Hawaiian Christmas since he was 6 years old. Now, we are here. Forty four years later, we are here.

My daughter, Nadya, who is a First Sergeant in the Marine Corps, is making Christmas Eve dinner for her Marines. Steve and I are honored to be part of this celebration. We are with these courageous men and women, who lay their life down for us every day.

Nadya made an incredible turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and lots of goodies.

Merry Christmas Eve to all. I hope that you are where you have always wanted to be this Christmas Eve of 2010.

Sonia

Let Them Walk All Over Me?

“I can’t help it. Am I supposed to stand here and take it? Am I supposed to allow everyone to walk all over me?”

We have all heard this call to arms. We have all heard this false untrue expletive from people we know and care about. The idea that one person is being “picked on” and treated unfairly is as old and older than the Cinderella story.

Only lately it has become the theme song for many people. They feel down trodden and used and abused. When you dissect what these people are saying and when you talk to them more closely, you find out that the main issue is that they are not getting what they want out of life and choose to blame everyone else for their short comings.

The idea that someone cannot help their behavior is an archaic idea that has been around for eons. This is not new and it is not endearing. The thought that we are so out of control and so angry at a situation that we lash out at the least likely people we should lash out against is a pathetic idea for living.

If you are angry and you cannot control your words and actions, quit the place, leave the room, absentee yourself until you can get it together and then communicate with your fellow humans. There is no excuse for cruelty and hateful words. Some of which could injure a soul without foreseen remedy.

On the whole it would be a much better world to live in if each one of us made sure that we are not hurting someone else instead of going after people we think have hurt us. Even if someone did hurt us, it is probably more useful to work on ourself and find out what it is that person could have said that could affect us to that extent.

Either way each one of us would be better served if we use some introspection and self evaluation instead of blame and condescension.

Despair Turns to Joy

When I allow despair
to take hold of my spirit,

I create havoc in my life.

Contrary it is to belief.
Darkness does flow slowly in.
Like the twilight before the night
Slowly, seeps all my faith,
Drains out of me.

There is no rhyme or reason
to these feelings that abound.
There is no earth shattering
occurrence to justify.

And yet it chokes without reserve
the life built up for years
on solid ground.

And when I find it swallows me,
I take a step back
And look with different eyes,
Clearer eyes, full of hope.

As soon as the scales fall
I see where I kept in the dark
And allow the light to overcome.

And overcome it shall.
For where there is light
Darkness disappears.

Despair turns to joy
Untold and manifest.

Simple Conversation: Update

My new novel, Simple Conversation is now available for pre-ordering on Amazon. The publication date is set for Feb 14, 2011

Happy Valentine’s Day

Simple Conversation Front Cover
  • Paperback
  • Publisher: Heart Press (February 14, 2011)
  • ISBN-10: 0983197806
  • ISBN-13: 978-0983197805

Pure Heart and Overflowing Emotion

Childish vs. childlike

 

“I’m going to write because I cannot help it.” Charlotte Bronte

On the face of it this is a rather benign statement. When I suggested that I liked that quote, someone told me not to encourage childish statements.

 

Childlike is what I thought of those words not childish. A quality almost lost to most of the modern world with its technological advances and pressures of life.

 

Bronte’s desire to write was not out of an addiction as the critic of her quote told me. I would rather think that it was out of an overflow of emotion and heart.  The time that Bronte was alive was not a time of serious expression for women, so writing would have been her release of experience so limited that her imagination had to be abundant.

 

Sorry, I find it a charming quote. And yes very childlike in all aspects of a pure heart and a thirst for life.

 

 

Sensitive Skin Fallacy

Saying that your face is sensitive is a true fallacy that seems to be prevalent amongst women of ages twenty through fifty.

Our face is probably one of the toughest parts of our body since it is most exposed to the elements.  Our face is in the sun, the wind and the heat, the cold and the salt in general.  We cover our torso and legs and leave our face exposed.

 

Now, take battery acid and pour it all over your face and it will react poorly.

 

Most high end products use preservative synthetic chemical products.  The promise to smooth wrinkles and strip the face of impurities is done with harsh chemicals.

 

So, everyone is led to believe that their face is “sensitive”.

 

Treat your face right and you will get healthy skin.  Do not pour chemicals and plastics on your face and then suggest that you have sensitive skin.

 

Treat your face with respect.  Your face takes a beating as it is, it is facing everything before the rest of your body gets to experience it.

 

When you eat poorly, your face suffers and you end up with zits, blackheads and white heads.  Avoid fried foods, of course, nothing new there.

 

Eat more olive oil.   Eat fresh foods.  Eat raw foods.  Do not cut out the cooked healthy foods either.  Eat.

 

Stay away from white flour, white breads and pasta.  Stay away from white potatoes,  eat sweet potatoes.

 

Take the time to figure out what you do to cause break outs on your face and protect it from harsh chemicals and unnatural products.

 

Read the labels and if you do not recognize something, do not use it until you are satisfied that you know what it is.  Protect your face.??

 

 

I Write Because

I write.

When asked when I started to write, I did not hesitate to answer. I always wrote. I always had a notebook with me. I jot down ideas. I wrote quotes. I wrote conversations. I wrote lists.

I do not remember the last chunk of time that I was not writing. When asked how I get my ideas, I said from real life. I look around and take from life. My imagination is unlimited but life is wilder than imagination in some instances.

I write because I have a voice. I write to express the shouting in my head. I write to convey without talking out loud. Out loud I have to use my emotions and facial expressions to be understood. While writing, I have to subtler and smarter.