Dear Baba Rumcake,
I feel ugly and powerless after I ate three slices of pizza, and cried while I did it. I feel gross.
Ever since my husband told me he stopped having sex with me because I stopped seeming to care about my body and looks, I’ve only had some good days.
Most of the time I feel disgusting. I can’t bear to have him watch me eat or walk anymore, because I waddle. Today i wanted to get chips at the store, and i remembered him saying “the last time you went on a diet you came home after day 3 and ate a half of bag of chips at 9 at night all by yourself” and I just started crying silently and havent fully stopped since.
I wish I could get over all these horrible food-related feelings. I know 3 pcs isnt a real binge, and I won’t purge or anything–but i hate how ugly and horrible just thinking about food makes me feel. I wish i had never become this way.
I wish counseling helped more. I wish I could stop defeating myself.
I’m sorry for whining. i’m just so goddamn sad.
Gorging in Georgia
Before I say anything else about your diet, let me just explain that you are married to a douche. I assume that you have been married for a while and most of the time, couples get past the initial looks thing. It seems to me that your precious is still stuck in the dating rut.
As for you, you are not off the hook by any means. Get on it, honey. Close your mouth. An older aunt suggested to me once that all I had to do was “Zip your mouth shut”. Don’t whine, just stop it. Not so easy? Join any number of dieting services, Overeaters Anonymous, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, etc. Get on with it, not for that prick of a husband of yours, but for you.
Food is not your enemy, you are. You are spoilt and have too much. You are being irresponsible with blessings that you have been given and taking advance. You have food, be grateful. Then, go from there. If you are healthy, be grateful. If you can eat, be grateful.
What is truly disgusting is not your noshing habits, but wasting money on Counseling, when you can just get on with it. You need a swift kick in the pants to get started down the right road. Counseling for what? What are you getting counseled on? To not eat?
As for that husband of yours, tell him to stuff a pizza in his pie hole.
Blessings, add some whine to your pizza and have a good day.