How to leave a bad marriage/relationship according to Salma Keir:
- Get a lawyer.
- Get an apartment.
- Get a job around the children’s needs to succeed.
- Never allow him/her to scream at you on the phone. You are not together anymore. He/she should not have been doing it in the first place.
- Insult you. See above!
- Intimidate you. See above!
- Do not care what he/she thinks of you. Damaging!
- When he/she sends you to alcohol and drug testing, never bad mouth them. Talk about yourself.
- Tell the truth.
- Never be bitter about what happened. Move forward!
- If you leave allow the person left some anger but not towards you.
- Be fair.
- Be kind when possible.
- Be firm without being cruel.
- You have a right once in a while to lose your temper too.
- Become independent of that partner emotionally and financially.
- Start over. Clean the slate.
- Leave it behind. You could not convince them for years, why start now.
- Unroll that burden off your shoulders and leave it where it can be lost.
- Make sure there is a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in the house all the time.
- Take care of your children’s needs yourself without bowing down to anyone else who thinks otherwise.
- Make a new life for your daughters.
- Make sure they are safe and know that you loves them.
- Never speak ill of your estranged partner for the children’s sake not your partner’s.
- Teach them integrity and self-reliance.
- Treat them fairly and firmly with love.
Salma Keir in Caring For Eleanor