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How to Leave a Bad Relationship

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_MG_4538.jpgHow to leave a bad marriage/relationship according to Salma Keir:

  • Get a lawyer.
  • Get an apartment.
  • Get a job around the children’s needs to succeed.
  • Never allow him/her to scream at you on the phone. You are not together anymore. He/she should not have been doing it in the first place.
  • Insult you. See above!
  • Intimidate you. See above!
  • Do not care what he/she thinks of you. Damaging!
  • When he/she sends you to alcohol and drug testing, never bad mouth them. Talk about yourself.
  • Tell the truth.
  • Never be bitter about what happened. Move forward!
  • If you leave allow the person left some anger but not towards you.
  • Be fair.
  • Be kind when possible.
  • Be firm without being cruel.
  • You have a right once in a while to lose your temper too.
  • Become independent of that partner emotionally and financially.
  • Start over. Clean the slate.
  • Leave it behind. You could not convince them for years, why start now.
  • Unroll that burden off your shoulders and leave it where it can be lost.
  • Make sure there is a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter in the house all the time.
  • Take care of your children’s needs yourself without bowing down to anyone else who thinks otherwise.
  • Make a new life for your daughters.
  • Make sure they are safe and know that you loves them.
  • Never speak ill of your estranged partner for the children’s sake not your partner’s.
  • Teach them integrity and self-reliance.
  • Treat them fairly and firmly with love.

Salma Keir in Caring For Eleanor

Chicken Negressco a la Salma Keir in Caring For Eleanor

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Chicken Negressco a la Salma Keir

This is a versatile dish that you can add vegetables to in the mix before baking. The most common vegetables to add are zucchini, peas or even broccoli.
Negressco is made of three different parts that come together in the oven.

Roasted Chicken for Chicken Negressco
Photo by Evan Swigart

-Chicken: Prepare chicken anyway you wish. For this recipe, I use a roasted chicken from the store. Strip all the meat from the bone. Cut to bite size and set aside.

Here is Salma’s recipe for chicken:
– Wash whole chicken inside and out with salt and flour to get clean and take away any unsavory taste.
– Place rinsed chicken in large stock pot with:
1/2 cup water
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
4 bay leaves
1 large onion (keep tail on and cut in four half way through)
Boil 45 minutes

-Pasta: Boil Penne or Elbow macaroni following package directions.
Salma adds 2Tbsp of olive oil and 1 tsp of salt to boiling water for pasta.

–Beshamel Sauce: Remember that you made your Beshamel sauce: shown last week.

Assembly:
-Mix boiled pasta, chicken and 1 cup of Beshamel sauce in a large pot or bowl.

-Spread mixture into a large rectangular oven pan.

-Pour the rest of the Beshamel sauce on the top.

-Bake at 375 until golden brown and serve.

Chicken Negressco by Sonia
Photo by Josep Renalias

In the end:
– Let stand for 10 minutes out of the oven for easy serving.

– Use spatula to serve rectangles or squares of the baked Negressco.

– Serve with a green salad or a Caesar salad.

– If you wish you can sprinkle some fresh Parmesan cheese on top of every serving.

– Serves 12. Freezes well. Heat in microwave or oven.

Easy to prepare in advance and tastes incredible. Salma froze squares in old empties for her client Eleanor.

Fear is Not of God

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_MG_4488.jpgThe fear of doing the wrong thing is always in the back of the mind of a believer. If I do this, what are the consequences of that! It keeps us in knots thinking that we should remain in bad situations set by archaic ideas and beliefs.

What if it is the will of God that you live without fear and strife? And it is the will of God that we should live without daily angst and destruction to our very soul. If a bad situation arises at work, your boss gets cruel and unkind, you would leave. Yet, women stay in bad marriages for years because of a set of beliefs so archaic and wrong about the sanctity of marriage.

When God tells you to go, please just open the door and go. He does not wish to see us abused and used. I am not suggesting a rosy garden or leaving behind the narrow road. I am suggesting that inner voice that tells you to get out and go.

Yet, Salma Keir found it difficult to leave since her minister told her to stay and be forgiving. Even thought her heart told her to leave, her church told her to stay. Years later, he sent a letter of apology. Who did she listen to? Not God! But her minister and it was the wrong thing since her husband took it as encouragement to continue bad, cruel and unkind behavior.

Leave! If things are so bad that you lose yourself, do yourself and your children a favor and leave. When you leave, you will be able to regain your confidence and forgive him.

Joy is More Than an Impression

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Your Bridge to a Life of Joy

Be Still by Sonia Rumzi
Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - - C. S. Lewis

Joy is not a feeling of happiness. It is not a feeling at all. Joy is a state of being. It makes no difference to the joyful man if he is sitting in the offices of the CEO or cleaning the floors of the same office. It makes no difference whether she is the famous Chef at the hotel or the dishwasher who cleans after.

In the heart and mind lurks that delight bursting out to flourish in the light. No pleasure, no treat or thrill makes up for the joy dwelling in the heart of a forgiving and triumphant person.

Obedience is more than treasures. Listening to the voice of God inside you and obeying the direction, is received by Him sweeter than all the aromatic incense and perfumes offered in sacrifice. A sacrifice of obedience is more pleasurable to the heart of God than a million works one can do in the name of religion.

Stop asking God for a blessing on your projects and do His projects. If it is His idea, He will bless it. With that you receive the joy unspeakable. Joy unattainable except by obedience and stepping out in faith.

Never listen to the naysayers who keep you down. If you know you are right, do it. Do not allow others to keep you from receiving your joy that only comes from obedience to the Father.

Step out in faith to receive joy.

Caring For Eleanor, a journey in forgiveness and finding joy once again.

Beshamel Sauce for Chicken Negressco

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bech.jpgThis is the first of two parts of Chicken Negressco from Salma Keir from Caring For Eleanor.

Beshamel
4 tablespoons butter or olive oil
2 oz flour
2ΒΌ cups milk
salt
1 egg

– In a sauce pan, heat oil.
– Add flour and whisk vigorously to lightly brown the flour.
– Add salt as you whisk.
– Add milk a little at a time whisking to avoid lumps.
– Remove from heat when thickens.
– Add raw egg and whisk into mixture.

Now it is ready to be added to whatever dish you want to add it to.
This sauce is a white sauce to use with pastas and making Croque Monsieur, ham and cheese with sauce on top.

If you find it hard to follow my directions, check out this video and see if it helps. :0)