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Gratitude

Repentant in Colorado

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Dear Baba Rumcake,
How to reclaim your reputation?

Can someone give me some pointers on this? In the last 4 yrs or so, I managed to be overly edgy and even rude to people that I should have been more kind, friendly, and gracious to. I was critical (not outwardly) and just an unhappy person wherever I went.

Outside of moving from this city, and starting again, what can I do now, esp. when I see these people again?

Repentant in Colorado

Dear Repentant,

It is easier if you just pick and start over. But, since you do not want to do that, you have your work cut out for you.
Here are several suggestions to ingratiate yourself with people you have offended:

  1. If it is an older person, take out their trash, ask if they need a ride to the grocery store and accompany them.
  2. Babysit for someone, she will appreciate the offer. She will probably not let you, from your history, but it is a foot in the door. Shows you are trying.
  3. Buy someone a cup of coffee and suggest that it is an apology.
  4. Open and hold the door for one of those people the next time you see them.
  5. Smile, a lot. It will help ease the awkwardness.
  6. If she or he, reads, ask what they are reading lately. Offer to loan them a book of yours.

This is an exceedingly short list. There is so much more you must do to show gratitude and appreciation of others. Don’t be a putz. Even if you feel bad and yucky, do not take it out on others. Have some self control.

Blessings on your change of attitude. Let me know how it works out for you.

Baba Rumcake

Immature in Denver

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

i am 30 years old but i feel kind of immature

my parents have been helping me financially for the last two years and i am currently going back to college to finish what i started.

i’d like to feel like a grown up now. but i still just make stupid fart jokes with my best friend. imma girl too.

Immature in Denver

Dear Immature,

Are you kidding me?  Instead of feeling like you should be mature, just get on with it. What are you waiting for anyway? And while you are at it, be thankful. Enjoy your life while the going is good. Your parents are taking care of you, then at least be grateful.

I hope that you are doing nice things for your parents. I would suggest that, you clean the house, cook dinner some evenings, do the laundry on others. There is no amount of services to cover their generosity, but you can try.

As for the stupid fart jokes, who cares!  You can keep making those as long as you do what you should do, which is start living! And learn to write.

God bless you on going forward and growing up.

Baba Rumcake

The Benefits of Gratitude

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Gratitude is often misunderstood for groveling and scraping. It is the one action of the being that requires acknowledgment of a deed done. It requires a humble spirit that admits a need. It requires an open soul, that accepts help.

Gratitude does not cost us money or time. It costs us, our self. It costs the ego to undergo a tremendous change in outlook.

When in a retreat, years ago, one of the leaders noticed that the participants were too unfocused and scattered. He set up a circle, in the courtyard, with a chair. He put two basins of water and two towels in the middle.

He directed that, if anyone had a need to tell anyone else something important, they were to go to the center of the circle, pick up the basin and towel, go before that person, kneel down, and wash their feet.

The hardest part of this exercise was not with the people who did the washing, although, I am sure some people would have a hard time doing that. The hardest hit were the people in the chairs getting their feet washed. The presence of someone at your feet asking forgiveness, or professing love or friendship or even just sharing their heart, broke most everyone there.

It had a cleansing effect on the whole. No one walked away unmoved. No one walked away inattentive.

There was thankfulness and gratitude, abound, all around. No one went, unscathed. Give over to gratitude. It is one of the acts that is selfless and undemanding of its own. Gratitude, blesses the giver and the receiver equally.

Practice gratitude, it will make you stay in the now,  not want what is next. It will make you love what you have,  not wait for what else is to come. It will make you happy to be satisfied with the way things are and what you have. It is not a tool to be lazy, it is a tool for grounding, and it opens your heart.

Exhausted in Lexington

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

Uggh, It’s like a never ending cycle. Start work late, end late, shop late, arrive home late..make dinner or just make a light dinner late…go to bed late. How the hell am I ever going to start my day earlier if this keeps up? Tonight for example, I stayed 45 mins past my shift, then went food shopping at 2 stores, filled the basin to wash dishes, boiled rice, had some baguette with deli meat, spread, another sandwich with jam, some candy and I still have to:

Make dinner and lunch for tomorrow, Wash the dishes, Take a shower,, Dry hair, Tidy up a bit. Ugh, before I know it, it will be 1-2am again….tomorrow I have a full day.

Exhausted in Lexington

Dear Exhausted,

The alternative is to be six foot under. What you described is called, life. Don’t whine. Get a grip! You are not terminally sick or disabled. The problem is, you have not yet mastered the control of your time. Time management is your first objective. Most of my suggestions will be based on a certain amount of organization.

Here are some suggestions:

  1. I assume, staying late for work, is not an option, you need your job.
  2. On a day off, do all your food shopping. Buy practical, good food to prepare ahead of time, for the week. Roasted chicken, cold cuts, etc.
  3. Use paper plates.
  4. Pick up all the time, as you move through the house. Be neat.
  5. Stop every morning and pray. Start the day right.

God bless you as you change your perspective. Let me know if it helped and how you do.

Baba Rumcake

The Last Day of 2010

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As this year comes to a close, I wonder all the things that I left undone. What is it that was so important that it would weigh on me so heavily?

I found that nothing that happened this year was unplanned. It was all in the cards, so to speak. The sequence of life, as it unfolded over the this last year, was the way things were supposed to happen.

I found myself content in the outcome. I found myself happy in the knowledge that what happened was completely within my control.

The only times that my mind warped, were the times I decided to fight against the tide. Lesson for the year: Relax, life happens and it is a joy. No matter what happens life will move on, with or without you. Stay in the moment. Enjoy your presence.

Happy New year.