Fear is Not of God

_MG_4488.jpgThe fear of doing the wrong thing is always in the back of the mind of a believer. If I do this, what are the consequences of that! It keeps us in knots thinking that we should remain in bad situations set by archaic ideas and beliefs.

What if it is the will of God that you live without fear and strife? And it is the will of God that we should live without daily angst and destruction to our very soul. If a bad situation arises at work, your boss gets cruel and unkind, you would leave. Yet, women stay in bad marriages for years because of a set of beliefs so archaic and wrong about the sanctity of marriage.

When God tells you to go, please just open the door and go. He does not wish to see us abused and used. I am not suggesting a rosy garden or leaving behind the narrow road. I am suggesting that inner voice that tells you to get out and go.

Yet, Salma Keir found it difficult to leave since her minister told her to stay and be forgiving. Even thought her heart told her to leave, her church told her to stay. Years later, he sent a letter of apology. Who did she listen to? Not God! But her minister and it was the wrong thing since her husband took it as encouragement to continue bad, cruel and unkind behavior.

Leave! If things are so bad that you lose yourself, do yourself and your children a favor and leave. When you leave, you will be able to regain your confidence and forgive him.

Joy is More Than an Impression

Your Bridge to a Life of Joy

Be Still by Sonia Rumzi

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - - C. S. Lewis

Joy is not a feeling of happiness. It is not a feeling at all. Joy is a state of being. It makes no difference to the joyful man if he is sitting in the offices of the CEO or cleaning the floors of the same office. It makes no difference whether she is the famous Chef at the hotel or the dishwasher who cleans after.

In the heart and mind lurks that delight bursting out to flourish in the light. No pleasure, no treat or thrill makes up for the joy dwelling in the heart of a forgiving and triumphant person.

Obedience is more than treasures. Listening to the voice of God inside you and obeying the direction, is received by Him sweeter than all the aromatic incense and perfumes offered in sacrifice. A sacrifice of obedience is more pleasurable to the heart of God than a million works one can do in the name of religion.

Stop asking God for a blessing on your projects and do His projects. If it is His idea, He will bless it. With that you receive the joy unspeakable. Joy unattainable except by obedience and stepping out in faith.

Never listen to the naysayers who keep you down. If you know you are right, do it. Do not allow others to keep you from receiving your joy that only comes from obedience to the Father.

Step out in faith to receive joy.

Caring For Eleanor, a journey in forgiveness and finding joy once again.

Beshamel Sauce for Chicken Negressco

bech.jpgThis is the first of two parts of Chicken Negressco from Salma Keir from Caring For Eleanor.

4 tablespoons butter or olive oil
2 oz flour
2¼ cups milk
1 egg

- In a sauce pan, heat oil.
- Add flour and whisk vigorously to lightly brown the flour.
- Add salt as you whisk.
- Add milk a little at a time whisking to avoid lumps.
- Remove from heat when thickens.
- Add raw egg and whisk into mixture.

Now it is ready to be added to whatever dish you want to add it to.
This sauce is a white sauce to use with pastas and making Croque Monsieur, ham and cheese with sauce on top.

If you find it hard to follow my directions, check out this video and see if it helps. :0)

Do Not Allow Anyone To Rob Your Joy

_MG_4143.jpgReal strength is in God and in godly attributes like quietness, trust and joy (Nehemiah 8:10).

Do not allow anyone to rob you of your joy. The quietness of your spirit is not from without, it is from within. When the time comes and you experience restless disquiet, where your very soul is torn, move on.

Every woman in an abusive situation will attest that she tried and tried but failed in the end to stop him. You cannot stop him but you can leave him. When you try (which is normal) for a while but then even your peace of mind is robbed from you, it is time to leave.

Do not look back! Do not regret or feel awkward and guilty. Quietness, trust and joy must come from within, from your very insides. If your life with him stops that and dries it out, there is no curing him, you need to move on with your own life.

Yes, you need to take charge of your own life and do something different to regain your lost self. When you become someone you do not recognize, when you become a person you do not like even, it is time to leave. Leave without a look behind. It is devastating to them that you could leave but it will strengthen and fill you with hope.

Do not let him trample over you because you made a promise to love and to hold from this day forward. It also says that he needs to love you like Christ loved His church and died for her. So, get over the guilt trip, get over the dogma and change your life staying still in the grace of God.

Caring For Eleanor, a journey in forgiveness and finding joy once again.

Forgiveness Is An Act Of Will

_MG_4139.jpgForgiveness is the key to moving on with your life after the trauma of marital abuse. It goes without saying that the person you are leaving behind is someone who hurt you. Yes, of course or you would not be leaving.

Unfortunately if you do not clear your conscience and forgive that person no matter what they have done to you, your life will be burdened with the guilt and the bitterness of hate. Forgiveness is an act of will not of feeling.

You may still feel hurt. You may still feel angry. But, the act of will to forgive someone, is just that, an act of will. Never shirk your responsibility when it comes to conflict. Nothing is more damaging to the hurt one than carrying the load of unforgiveness in heart and soul.

Unforgiveness eats at your very soul and heart. It affects the aggressor but little. Like envy, it does not hurt the one who hurt you, it only hurts you on the inside keeping you from fulfilling the heights of your own achievements in your own life.

Forgive him or her and move on with your own life away from them. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to stay in touch and go to dinner. It means that in your own heart and depth of your soul, you release the person of the guilt of your hurt.

“Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.” – Corrie ten Boom, Dutch Christian Holocaust Survivor

Do not delay this act of releasing yourself of the burden of hatred and unforgiveness. Move on! Do not let it fetter you to the ground but allow yourself to soar above it all. @SalmaKeir

Caring For Eleanor, a journey in forgiveness and moving on.

“Constant Comment” and a Time for Clarity

Constant Comment TeaOn bare quiet feet she slipped out of bed, went downstairs, turned on the light and put water on the stove to boil for tea, then sat down at the kitchen table. When the water boiled the pensive woman made herself a cup of Constant Comment then sat down to think. Tense with the anguish of spiritual struggle, thoughts whirled around in her head. Time crawled as she sat sipping and thinking. The sneaky morning light started to steal into the kitchen, as she sat there still wide awake. As she noticed the dawn, she pushed herself up, then went upstairs to shower and get ready. Time crept.

Excerpt from the book Caring For Eleanor by @SalmaKeir

Support Goes Both Ways

_MG_9905.jpg“You do not have money, Mikel.”
“That’s because you spend it before I make it.”
Mikel had no money besides his substantial earnings. He told her if she was truthful, she should take her name off the credit cards and the house, calling his wife a gold digger keeping him broke and spending all his earnings.
The fight escalated. Scorched with the hurt of indignation, Salma sobbed while Mikel accused her of ruining him financially. They had this argument several times before. The angry blood burned in his face making him bitter while she cried, without hope. He reminded her, she contributed nothing to the household, that she was not helping and how sick and tired he was of supporting her.
Salma so wanted but could not, remind Mikel that she worked while he went to school. That she typed his Masters on a typewriter, and his Doctorate on a word processor in the old days. She could not remind him that she was there all along when he only made $300 a month as they worked together to build their future. The distraught woman did not remind him, that she worked in a sewing factory in the South while he went to school, supporting his studies while avoiding worries about food and rent. Low and unthinkable reminding him that she worked as an evening waitress after their first born; so she could attend her child during the day and not resort to a sitter.

Excerpt from Caring For Eleanor

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Abuse Needs To Continue

_MG_9753.jpgWhat does it take for a woman to leave a husband she loves? Why should she leave if she loves him? It always was that way, I loved him. His love for me was expressed in anger, control and irritation at my own stupidity.

Does that sound like love? No it does not. It took time and eye opening discussion and experience to realize the need to leave. Love is kind. Love is patient. How patient should I be? When is enough, truly enough?

I met Eleanor, an older woman who during my time caring for her health and body, she cared for my mind and heart. She shared her life and heart with me allowing me a glimpse into a better life. She encouraged and supported me and I felt her love push me to a safer and happier life.

Salma Keir

Black White But Mostly Grey

_MG_4149.jpgGrey areas were foreign to me. When I was going through hard times with my husband, I could not see beyond what is right and wrong in my own mind.

My job got me caring for an older lady who opened my eyes to some truths that could go both ways. What does it take for us as women to see a bad relationship we are nursing? What does it take for us to leave a bad situation?

Eleanor kept at it! The old woman kept talking and whispering in my ear. She did not push or suggest, she just shared her own life and thoughts. She guided me with an invisible kind hand to free my soul and heart from an oppressive marriage.

Salma Keir

French Toast a la Salma for Eleanor


Wikipedia Image

One of the foods I made for Eleanor was a spiced French Toast. Used to having her scrambled egg and toast every morning, I made her something new. She loved my cooking and gave me leeway to serve her new and delicious foods.

In the next few weeks, I will share some of the foods I made for her. Yes, she loved my cooking.


  • 1 egg
  • 1/4 cup milk
  • Pinch Cardamon
  • Dash Allspice
  • 2 pinches Cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp Vanilla
  • 2 Slices of toast or Hawaiian Bread or potato Bread
  • Butter for frying
    Maple syrup


  • Beat egg and milk.
  • Add spices and vanilla. Set aside for a moment.
  • Heat butter in skillet.
  • Dunk each slice of bread covering both sides with spiced mixture.
  • Place in medium hot butter.
  • Brown on both sides.
  • After placing in serving plate, cover with Maple syrup.

When she tasted my concoction, she asked for it many times after that. Blind, all her other senses were enhanced and she appreciated the sensual flavors.

Salma Keir