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Confused in Des Moines

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

My boyfriend currently is bad with money. IF we get married he wants me to handle finances. How can I expect that he’ll be okay with me handling finances if he is a big impulse spender? Won’t he get frustrated that he can’t impulse spend when I handle money? Wouldn’t he just do it anyway and cause fights?

I just can’t see him giving up control of his money when he likes to spend it so much. Anyone with good advice on this?

Confused in Des Moines

Dear Confused,
Don’t marry the schlep! Life will be easier, but you will not listen to that. So, here it is.
You are probably correct on most of the points you have listed. But, remember, just because he does impulse spend, does not mean that that is the right thing to do. He is not a child. He needs to learn self control just like any toddler who is not allowed to have everything he wants.
But, that is his part of the deal. You can discuss that seriously before you get married. Self control is his part of the contract.

As for the practical issues:
1- Have two separate bank accounts. All the money goes into your account and you dole out  pocket money, to him. Make sure that it is generous, depending on your income level.
2- Agree ahead of time that any large expenditures are to be discussed and agreed upon before purchase.
3- Make sure your names are on both accounts in the event of an emergency; if you can’t trust him not to touch it – RUN.
God bless on your future plans of marriage. Let me know how you do.

Baba Rumcake

Don Juan de Lickso

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

How does a woman like to be given oral???
Don Juan de Lickso

Dear Lickso,
You sound like you think you already know what to do.

Before I get into that, let me explain by saying, that intercourse for women, is like playing with a man’s balls. Yeah, you heard me. You will never achieve orgasm if you only did that, right?

Ok, now that the basics are covered, we can answer the how to, question. The most sensitive part of a woman’s body is her clitoris. Flick your tongue on the tip of that over and over again, stopping every once in a few minutes, to give her a breather.

Listen to the cues in her responses. If she is responding favorably, reaching to grab you, keep doing it, until she achieves orgasm.

Do not: stick your tongue inside her hole, sorry, your tongue is not big enough for that. 🙂

Good luck dude,
Baba Rumcake

Exasperated in Dallas

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

I’m requesting advice for dealing with my kid being a brat. She will lie about anything to get someone to feel sorry for her. Here’s an example:

One morning her and I were sitting and watching TV before breakfast, and she was texting my mom. Next thing I know my mom is texting me asking why I’m still in bed and if I’m feeling okay. It turns out, she was telling my mom that I wouldn’t get up and she was hungry for breakfast and bored because she couldn’t do anything that made noise because she didn’t want to wake me up.

Exasperated in Dallas

Dear Exasperated,

When raising a child, the rule of thumb is to ask yourself, would I do that? If you should not do it, then it is most likely that your child should not be allowed to do it either.

Your daughter needs serious discipline. If she can do this and get away with it, at this age, she is likely to do that as an adult.
Depending on how old she is, punishment should be appropriate for the crime, so to speak. As a teenager, grounding and taking away privileges, like the telephone, will work.

Make sure you follow through with your decisions. Do not threaten and back down. Do, what you threaten.

Giving her excuses for lying is not a good idea. Take this seriously and she will take it seriously also.  If you take it lightly, she will laugh it off. Since you are raising a person to be a moral, functioning adult in the community, you need to take her flaws seriously. What you do will affect her character in the future.

Remember that your child is a gift from God to have for a few years. You need to show her the best way to be. Think: if this was a friend of mine, would I stay friends with her, if I knew she did this?
God bless and let me know how things go.
Baba Rumcake

Tortured Meek

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Dear Baba Rumcake,
Sort of a silly question but, I need to start acting less meek and more dignified. How does one go about this? I seem to revert to meekness too often even when I try otherwise.

Tortured Meek

Dear TM,
Get on with it sister! Life will crush your butt.
Before I tell you how to be more assertive, I need to remind you that there is nothing wrong with being meek. The meek shall inherit the earth.

Things to try:

  1. Dress like an adult. Do not wear clothes for teens and expect to be dignified.
  2. Learn to wear high heels. Do not wear them if you are not steady wearing them. It will make you look vulnerable.
  3. Keep your back straight up when you walk. Learn to do it, do some Yoga.
  4. Keep your chin up. Do not look down.
  5. Keep your chest out. Do not be embarrassed. It is part of your body.
  6. Look in the mirror every morning and say, I am God’s child, made in His image.

God bless. Let me know how it goes.

Baba Rumcake

Happy New Year 2011

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For this, the beginning of the year, it is good to remember, that obedience to God is the first promise to be made. If nothing else, stop worrying about the effect your obedience will have on others.

God is not to be mocked. He knows. This is not news. Just do whatever it is you know you need to do and the rest will fall into place the way it is supposed to.

Nothing is more destructive than second guessing the direction that the Lord is taking you. Stop all doubts. Do it even if you are afraid. Just do it.

Happy New Year. Happy new leaf turned over for your benefit and for glory.