Dear Baba Rumcake,
Have you EVER heard a woman say that having a kid-was-a-mistake?
I wonder if any of them think it, but feel it would indicate they are somehow “bad” if they admit it (or just afraid the kid might hear it someday if they said it).
Curious in Chesapeake
The truth is that most kids are mistakes. Most mothers are just too pompous to admit to the fact. It would concern me more if a mother went through the entire experience of motherhood without considering the possibility that her child may have been a mistake. From morning sickness and a warped body, to the unparalleled pains of childbirth, to poopy diapers and spit-up, to sleepless nights filled with screams, to innate human selfishness and consistent disappointments, doubts are only natural. Not until the child grows up will anyone know if they were really a mistake, but there are always bad signs early on. I can guarantee you that every woman who has adequately observed the demonic nature of her precious child has had some thoughts of regret pass through her mind. Any woman who says otherwise is either lying to your face or has existed in a fairytale world in her mind.
It also makes a difference as to what you mean by “mistake.” Do you mean unintended, unexpected, unwelcome, or of disputed paternity? Pol Pot’s mother was quoted as saying he should have been aborted. Barbara Bush got drunk at a party and revealed that one of her sons was a major disappointment. My own mother was not reticent about telling my brother and I that she would gladly trade us for a case of scotch and some unfiltered cigarettes. Of course, she was only joking. Right? But cheer up, Curious in Chesapeake. Your mother said this to you only because you stuck her in that K-Mart “retirement center” and used the money from the sale of the old family estate on a cruise to Tahiti and a solid gold doghouse for Tweeky. In a few years she’ll forget all about it if the banana pudding doesn’t kill her first.
God bless you. Let me know how you do.