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Hopeless in Wisconsin

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

I’ve been divorced over 3 years from a woman whom I learned never loved me. I’m not able to date, have a lot of negatives and fear. I would like to meet someone to share my life with and be able to enjoy adult times with. What can I do to get past this? Oh and  I demanded the divorce knowing full well I would likely never have another in my life.

Hopeless in Wisconsin

Dear Hopeless,
You cannot be lovable in the state you are in right now. You sound downright annoying and whiny. I mean to perspective women.


I imagine, that the cliche, Time heals all hurts, will fall on deaf ears right now. But, it is true. Do not believe that she did not ever love you. People say those things to be hurtful. She would not have married you.


You can find women to go out with, without getting married. Go out with women and enjoy a solid, good friendship, with benefits, if you want, without getting married. Go out with adult women. Go out and do not get married.


Did I mention that you do not need to get married?
Just go out, spend time with some wonderful woman. Stay unattached until you meet the right one. She will come along, maybe.

God bless you and let me know how you do.
Baba Rumcake

Lonely in Santa Cruz

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

As a recent arrival in Santa Cruz, I need ideas on how to meet people, make friends, network within the local business community, etc. WITHOUT spending any money! Looking for work and watching outgoing expenses, so no meet-ups or business meetings that cost anything; zilch, nada, NOTHING!…Can you offer any sound effectual advice?
Thanks,
Lonely in Santa Cruz

Dear Lonely,
Don’t be so stingy! Even people with limited income can be generous. Santa Cruz is the place to meet people and make friends. Most people in that city are friendly and happy to engage.
Walk the street. Talk to everyone. You will be surprised how a little kindness on your part, will go a long way to introducing yourself. Share a sandwich, a cup of coffee, with someone. Do not buy them their own cup of coffee or sandwich, just share some of yours. People are likely to enjoy the sharing. Strike up a conversation with some of the groups on the street. There are young strolling musicians. Stop and chat.

God bless on your search. Let me know how you do.
Baba Rumcake

Blue Balls in New York

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

Need advice: my wife is pregnant, with our second child, and again her sex drive crashed, mine however, is good as always, so i am going nutz, what should i do?

Blue Balls in New York

Dear Blue Balls,
You are a sick puppy. You want your poor child to come out with a bruise on his forehead? Never mind! Here is what you can do.
You have lots of work to do, my friend. Women are not apt to have sex unless they have been wooed and made love to, all day.
Buy flowers! Take her out to a romantic dinner. Call her all day from work. Ask her how her day has been, while you were away from her, and be ready to listen.
Make love to your wife, all day long, ALL day long.  If you want your sex life back, take the time to entice your  wife.
Unfortunately for you, but fortunate for the human race, women want lots of sex when they need to get pregnant. That is the call of nature. Afterwards, you have to do some work.
Ummmm…there are women out there who are completely sexual when pregnant. Good luck! Keep making love to her dude…..all day!

God bless on your venture in wooing your wife, let me know how you faire.
Baba Rumcake

Confused in Des Moines

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

My boyfriend currently is bad with money. IF we get married he wants me to handle finances. How can I expect that he’ll be okay with me handling finances if he is a big impulse spender? Won’t he get frustrated that he can’t impulse spend when I handle money? Wouldn’t he just do it anyway and cause fights?

I just can’t see him giving up control of his money when he likes to spend it so much. Anyone with good advice on this?

Confused in Des Moines

Dear Confused,
Don’t marry the schlep! Life will be easier, but you will not listen to that. So, here it is.
You are probably correct on most of the points you have listed. But, remember, just because he does impulse spend, does not mean that that is the right thing to do. He is not a child. He needs to learn self control just like any toddler who is not allowed to have everything he wants.
But, that is his part of the deal. You can discuss that seriously before you get married. Self control is his part of the contract.

As for the practical issues:
1- Have two separate bank accounts. All the money goes into your account and you dole out  pocket money, to him. Make sure that it is generous, depending on your income level.
2- Agree ahead of time that any large expenditures are to be discussed and agreed upon before purchase.
3- Make sure your names are on both accounts in the event of an emergency; if you can’t trust him not to touch it – RUN.
God bless on your future plans of marriage. Let me know how you do.

Baba Rumcake

Don Juan de Lickso

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Dear Baba Rumcake,

How does a woman like to be given oral???
Don Juan de Lickso

Dear Lickso,
You sound like you think you already know what to do.

Before I get into that, let me explain by saying, that intercourse for women, is like playing with a man’s balls. Yeah, you heard me. You will never achieve orgasm if you only did that, right?

Ok, now that the basics are covered, we can answer the how to, question. The most sensitive part of a woman’s body is her clitoris. Flick your tongue on the tip of that over and over again, stopping every once in a few minutes, to give her a breather.

Listen to the cues in her responses. If she is responding favorably, reaching to grab you, keep doing it, until she achieves orgasm.

Do not: stick your tongue inside her hole, sorry, your tongue is not big enough for that. 🙂

Good luck dude,
Baba Rumcake