Innovative in Incline Village

Dear Baba Rumcake,

He doesn’t have life balance.

I can have a job, several creative projects, a relationship and pets and hobbies. He thinks that, me having hobbies and projects, takes away time from him, and I shouldn’t have any outside interests.

I don’t know what to do. If I’m not creating something, I feel like I will die. I know lots of girls who do what I do, and they have really cool bfs with their projects and hobbies. I don’t know why he can’t be cool like those guys are and they are so supportive too.

Innovative in Incline Village

Dear Innovative,

Sounds to me, like this nettlesome guy, is not interested in you, at all. This obnoxious person, is only interested, in what you, can do, for him.

He also sounds weak and unconfident. Cutting you off, from what you like to do, to ‘wait’ on him, is a bad sign of insecurity.

Your mate, should encourage you to grow and feel alive. Run! Get away from this guy. People do not change that drastically without Spiritual intervention. Since, he sounds self centered and egotistical, I do not see this happening for you with him.

Find out what it is you like about this guy so much? Look at what it is, that attracts you to someone so dependent and narcissistic? You need to find out more about your choices and why you are attracted to this bozo.

You might find out a lot about yourself through your search.

Wishing you blessings in dumping the trash, and continued creativity,

Baba Rumcake

Nightmare Flight Passengers

Dear Baba Rumcake,

As usual, at the airport, the line was long, the passengers irritated and the workers at their wits’ end. No one to blame, just the way things were.
But, when some annoying, disgusting, family of four, decided to cut the line, in front of everyone else, getting to the agent, before all of us, it was ugly.
“Do we have to go to the end of the line,” asked, the annoying, whiny female of the group.
Who are these people? Where do they come from? Who taught them manners?

Exasperated in Exeter

Dear Exasperated,

Standing in line, to get on the airplane, is never fun, anymore. It used to be, so much, fun to fly. Those people you just mentioned are the same people who cut in line at the grocery store, or the movie theater or to get on a bus.

Those are the same people who have no manners, chewing with their mouths open and wipe from back to front because no one taught them any better.

The agent, I am sure, did not want to engage these lovely creatures. Those are the same people who having too much luggage, they trudge, down the walkway, bumping every wall, on the way.

Where do these delightful people, end up sitting? You got it! They sit right behind your seat. No room for them, so, they kept bumping their knees against your seat, over and over again. Making the whole flight, a bump and grind.

They will try, to get out first, but alas, it might be impossible so they proceed to discuss their upcoming holiday, which no one cares about, in a loud voice. Waiting for the rest of the plane to unload, they complain, bitterly, about the crowded quarters.

Four fully grown adults who are pricks. I’m sorry. You were telling me, about your, flight. No matter.

They may be the same family that I flew out with the other month.

Blessings on your next flight.

Baba Rumcake

10 Sci Fi and Adventure Movies

10 movies for Sci Fi and Adventure Lovers


Lights descend on the city of Los Angeles which pulls people like moths to a flame. Aliens come to earth to swallow the whole of the entire population. Interesting!


An assassin hired by the universal alliance to capture a telepathic girl, follows the Serenity crew. An amazing romp in the verse.


A universal teleportation circle found in the deserts of Egypt, lead a crew led by Kurt Russell, with James Spader and Alexis Cru to humans, that worship the god Ra.

War of the Worlds

An amazing adaptation of the novel by H.G. Wells, it is truly well done, in this movie, with Dakota Fanning, Tom Cruise and a boring long scene with Tim Robbins. Yep, we could have done with a much shorter scene fellas. When aliens attack earth, earth fights back. Wonderful.


A commando team on a mission in Central America get picked off one by one by an extra terrestrial. I love that movie. Always have. Arnold Schwartznegger at his best, really.


A teenage albino young man is found in the basement of his grandparents’ home after they die. His unique talents are both a joy to some but a source of fear to the small community.


Neo, a computer hacker, finds himself targeted by the police when he contacts the leader of the resistance. An almost Zen approach to the existentialist problem. I watch this movie once a month, at least. Yep, I am a freak, sorry.


Who can replace the creepy sleek alien on the mining ship in space. With Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt and John Hurt. The original.

Riddick – Pitch Black

A group of stranded travelers land on a planet which seems too hot for survival. We are introduced to the teenager of the group Jack and Imam al Walid. Great movie. Vin Diesel.


Machines made to look like humans are attacking the earth. I never tire of this movie.

If you are a science fiction lover and have not seen these movies, you are missing out. Some may be old, some brand new but they are wonderful and keep the imagination churning and the heart pumping. Good clean fun.


Gorging in Georgia

Dear Baba Rumcake,

I feel ugly and powerless after I ate three slices of pizza, and cried while I did it. I feel gross.

Ever since my husband told me he stopped having sex with me because I stopped seeming to care about my body and looks, I’ve only had some good days.

Most of the time I feel disgusting. I can’t bear to have him watch me eat or walk anymore, because I waddle. Today i wanted to get chips at the store, and i remembered him saying “the last time you went on a diet you came home after day 3 and ate a half of bag of chips at 9 at night all by yourself” and I just started crying silently and havent fully stopped since.

I wish I could get over all these horrible food-related feelings. I know 3 pcs isnt a real binge, and I won’t purge or anything–but i hate how ugly and horrible just thinking about food makes me feel. I wish i had never become this way.

I wish counseling helped more. I wish I could stop defeating myself.

I’m sorry for whining. i’m just so goddamn sad.

Gorging in Georgia

Dear Gorging,
Before I say anything else about your diet, let me just explain that you are married to a douche. I assume that you have been married for a while and most of the time, couples get past the initial looks thing. It seems to me that your precious is still stuck in the dating rut.

As for you, you are not off the hook by any means. Get on it, honey. Close your mouth. An older aunt suggested to me once that all I had to do was “Zip your mouth shut”. Don’t whine, just stop it. Not so easy? Join any number of dieting services, Overeaters Anonymous, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, etc. Get on with it, not for that prick of a husband of yours, but for you.

Food is not your enemy, you are. You are spoilt and have too much. You are being irresponsible with blessings that you have been given and taking advance. You have food, be grateful. Then, go from there. If you are healthy, be grateful. If you can eat, be grateful.

What is truly disgusting is not your noshing habits, but wasting money on Counseling, when you can just get on with it. You need a swift kick in the pants to get started down the right road. Counseling for what? What are you getting counseled on? To not eat?

As for that husband of yours, tell him to stuff a pizza in his pie hole.

Blessings, add some whine to your pizza and have a good day.
Baba Rumcake

10 Feel Good Movies

Here’s my List of 10 Feel Good Movies

The Bucket List

Two terminally ill men meet in the hospital and go together on a trip of a lifetime. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. Amazing!

Love Actually

Eight different couples dealing with love in different places. The settings are different and all in the few weeks before Christmas. Wonderful with Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson and many other wonderful people.

Sense and Sensibility

Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet, with Hugh Grant and James Fleet in Jane Austin’s wonderful story of sacrifice and finding love. Lovely!

The Holiday

Two women one in England and one in the States switch homes for Christmas, end up finding out who they really are. Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz with Jack Black and Jude Law. Charming!

What Dreams May Come

Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Annabella Sciorra in a story of love that endures forever. Wonderful color and imagination.

Big Fish

A dying man and his son try to come to terms with their relationship. The son trues to see past the lies he thinks his father tells. Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney and Billy Crudup are a wonderful crew.

Finding Neverland

Johnny Depp weaves a story for a dying woman and her four children. Amazing story and movie.

Under the Tuscan Sun

Diane Lane, one of my favorite actresses, by the way, finds herself after her divorce, when she buys a home on Tuscany and gets what she asked for all along. Wonderful story.


Juliet Binoche, Judi Dench and Alfred Molina with Johnny Depp in a story of a woman and her daughter who move about with the wind and end up in a narrow community. Delightful!

Home for the Holidays

Holly Hunter, Anne Bancroft and Robert Downey Jr. in a funny story of coming home for thanksgiving and the mishaps involved. Hilarious! Don’t take it personally.

Delight in these selections made for the people who want some fun with a twist of humor and joy.


Am I Crazy for 10 Movies?

10 Movies, Am I Crazy?

Every time I mention these, 10 old movies, keyword, old here, someone thinks I am crazy! Fun movies! Enjoy!

The Ref

A family gets entangled with a jewel thief on Christmas. Funny, light hearted and full of laughs. Denis Leary and Kevin Spacey.


Sylvester Stallone is a mob boss trying to go on the straight and narrow. Funny and quirky.

Office Space

Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston with David Herman, in a hilarious comedy about hating your job and trying something new.

Big Trouble in Little China

Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall and Dennis Dun, in a mystical battle in Chinatown.

Groundhog Day

Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell and Chris Elliott where a weatherman finds that the same day keeps repeating over and over again, until he learns life lessons.

Love and Death

Woody Allen and Diane Keaton are hilarious in this movie which almost immitates War and Peace. Not really! Funny!

Young Frankenstein

Gene Wilder, Madeline Kahn and Marty Feldman in a wacky make of the monster. Wonderful romp in the past.


Mel Brooks, John Candy and Rick Moranis in a Star Wars spoof. Very funny for space lovers.

Blazing Saddles

Irreverant, rude, Gene Wilder, Cleavon Little and Slim Pickens, go at it in a western adventure that is not so politically correct. Funny as it gets.

There’s Something About Mary

Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz and Matt Dillon in a crazy funny story of love lost and found. Quirky!

So, just a suggestion, watch these wonderfully quirky flicks and have fun. Get your friends together, make it an evening of wine, beer, with chips and dip.

Tempted in Tampa

Dear Baba Rumcake,

To divorce or not divorce …that is the question.

I am at the point where I think a sweet affair would be the momentary lovely balm to the sunburn. I am out here for one special woman… perhaps in a similar circumstance… if only to write about things… first…
What do you think?
Tempted in Tampa

Dear Tempted,
You may end up with blood poisoning, after, that “momentary lovely balm to the sunburn”.

You know the old adage from the Baptists, Dancing leads to sex. Well, in this case, writing, leads to meeting; then meeting leads to screwing. Now we are talking, serious involvement.

Be aware, that you might get, what you are looking for out there. Including, but not limited to, horrible diseases and crooks.

If you start another relationship, before trying to fix this one, you will end up in the same rut again. Nothing new there.

Once you allow yourself the possibility of cheating, you will cheat. If losing the woman you are married to, is not a problem, then by all means, go for it. If it is an issue, stay off that course.

Blessings and may the burn reach where you cannot itch.

Baba Rumcake

Silence in Harbin Hot Springs

I spent three days in silence at Harbin Hot Springs. Harbin was the easiest place to do that since it is a retreat where people go to meditate, think and soak in the hot springs of Middletown, CA.

It was not so much that I had a lot to say, no; it was the habit of commenting on everything. Finding out that most of what I say to my husband was unnecessary, was a real slap in the face. Being silent for three days gave me the opportunity to discover the absurdity of my conversations.

Finding out that I comment, non stop, on things around us, even people and nonsensical subjects, even. While silence made me realize that my observations were not necessary. The earth will still turn on its axis, without them. The sun, will still rise in the east, and set in the west, without, my expletives.

Silence brought on thoughtfulness and writing. Finding myself unable to communicate abruptly, everything was calculated. When I wrote my husband, it was to actually say something that needed to be said; like, let’s eat, not she looks like a frog.

It curbed my tongue, it curbed my thoughts. Ugly thoughts, were cut short, since there was no avenue for them. If my mind brought up vileness, it had to clear it up quickly, since it would have had to stay inside and fester. A true cleansing from the inside out.

I still practice silence. Every few weeks, I take a break, and shut up! I do not, have to be, at the Harbin quiet, to do it. No excuses, I just do it.

Silence is golden.

Here’s the link to check out the comfort of Harbin Hot Springs.

Facebook Mom in Ft. Lauderdale

Dear Baba Rumcake,

My daughter is complaining, because I am insisting, that she “friend” me on FB. I pay her college tuition and her bills. What should I do?

Facebook Mom in Ft. Lauderdale

Dear Facebook Mom(s),

As Peanut, from Jeff Dunham, said, “Holy crap! Help me out! Help me out!”

Back off! That is the first thing I would suggest to you. Back the hello off!

FB is a Social Network; not a Spy Network.
Make your own damn friends. Let your daughter be. Let her grow up and have her own friends, her own age. FB is not for you to observe your daughter, it is for her to have fun.

If your mother was on Facebook, with you, when you were younger, it would have been, a sore wound. Remember when you were young? I could not imagine, that you would have appreciated her, following every silly thing you said, having the opportunity, to comment on it, too.

You probably remind her to eat her vegetables. Or why she had not called you, or if she remembered, to pick up her room, yuck! Anything, you could come up with; in your interest, to keep tabs on her, on Facebook.

After 18, even if parents, are paying the bills in college, there should be a law, banning them, from Facebook. Just kidding, relax! No matter what we say, we are never the same with our mothers. There is a need to be good and wonderful. But, if your offspring, wants to get down to it, do what she wants to do, and be bad, you, will be watching on FB. Sheeeesh! That’s not happening.

Do not take it personally. Sometimes, we ban someone from our environment because they hate people we associate with, also. I have done that.

Nothing is more degrading or annoying than a parent who reminds their child of every little thing they do for them. Do you want a medal for taking care of her bills? It is your responsibility to take care of your child,  in any manner you choose. Do not complain about it, just stop doing it. Or, stop complaining, and be responsible.

Lastly, have your own friends. You’re a big girl, get on with your life and let your daughter live hers.

Blessings on backing off. Let me know if it works out.

Baba Rumcake

Queen of Returns

Dear Baba Rumcake,

Why do so many people feel guilty & ashamed for returning things back to the stores? Or is it fear of intimidation by the bitchy sales people?

I’m the queen of returns. Anything wrong with that?
Queen of Returns from Quebec

Dear QoR,

Now, if you legitimately need to return things that are the wrong size, or the wrong color or whatever, then that would be fine. Returns, are sanctioned, when you need to exchange things you do not like, you did not buy or do not fit.

But, I have a feeling, this is not the case here, with you. I imagine, that you return things just because you are bored, or want to, for the fun of shopping without spending the money. The way you asked that question and even your name, suggests, that, this is a hobby.

Unfortunately, it is people like you who spoil it for the rest of us. When you return something, it is a loss to the store. They have to return it, also. When that happens the result is that the prices are increased to cover those losses.

Now, that may seem like nothing to you, since, you enjoy what you do, but the truth is, it makes it hard on everyone else. You seem to find some sort of perverse satisfaction in returning things. I am not sure what the reason is, but you get some obtuse feel, doing it.

Most people are ashamed or guilty returning things, making them feel creepy and weird. Most people buy things to keep them. They truly intended to have them, keep them and use them.

So, do you actually return a bath rug, that you have used, then decided, you do not want anymore? Do you return candle holders, with wax all over it, that other people gave you, that you did not appreciate? Do you return a dress, that you used for a party, then returned the next day?

I imagine that you do. That makes you, unscrupulous, dishonorable and dishonest. But, you get by, and do your thing, not worrying about the “bitchy sales people”.

Blessings on your return escapades.

Baba Rumcake